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A message from the Palace

One does not normally speak to my people at this time of the year but in the light of the splendid marriage between my grandson Prince William and Miss Kate Middleton, it is appropriate to convey a few words to what I am sure is a truly grateful nation.

I know, at this time of great austerity and hardship suffered by millions of my subjects as a result of the policies of my Ministers and captains of industry and finance, this pageant of royal history is particularly welcome.

To those who have unfortunately lost their homes to the banks, or whose job has disappeared so that others may continue to live well, those who despite their disability have had to reapply for their more than generous benefit, and young people without employment, to all of you we say: let your mind wander from your misery for a day at least. Enjoy other people’s happiness if you can’t manage your own.

For we are all in this together, as my Prime Minister and the Chancellor have conveyed on more than one occasion. The pain of my subjects’ suffering is heartfelt here at the Palace and at all my other royal residences. We all have to tighten our belts so that our nation may become great once again.

The House of Windsor is playing its part in the recovery of our country’s fortunes. Our allowance from Parliament is being abolished and we will have to live off the proceeds from the Crown Estate. As you know, running the Monarchy PLC is a somewhat expensive business.

Although my staff let it be known that the annual expenditure of the royal household is around £38 million a year, with security and other measures the true cost is closer to £180 million. So future access to the £200 million a year profits from the Crown Estate, which though nominally owned by the people through Parliament, are actually all mine as they were forcibly surrendered by one of our greatest monarchs, George III, is most welcome.

It is pleasing that the Estate is one of the world's biggest landowners and its tenants, mostly living in our great capital, pay millions of pounds in rent each year. Their rent cheques will now go directly to pay for your head of state and those who follow me on to the throne. I want to thank my Ministers for this most generous gift. I also want to thank them for any detention of unruly and ungrateful subjects prior to the great wedding who think treasonous thoughts and plot dastardly acts this Friday. One hopes that the Tower has enough room for them all.

I am most saddened that Prince Salman bin Hamad al-Khalifa of Bahrain is unable to attend the ceremony at Westminster Abbey as he has urgent matters to attend to at home in relation to unaccountably restless subjects. But Prince Mohamed Bin Nawaf of Saudi Arabia is most welcome. The help his Kingdom has given to the Kingdom of Bahrain in maintaining order is gratifying.

One cannot stress enough how important it is hang on to one’s crown in these turbulent times. One wonders where Britain would be if the House of Windsor did not continue to occupy the throne and pass it from one family member to another. Some say that hereditary privilege of this kind is a bad thing. Even my Deputy Prime Minister suggested something of the kind but I am pleased to see that my Prime Minister has put him in his place.

Let us go forward as one nation, making sacrifices where necessary. Let the bells ring out and people rejoice on this great occasion. For what is the alternative? Protest, assemblies, revolution, equality? God forbid.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
26 April 2011

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Your Say

Fiona says:

I dread to think where we - your loyal subjects of this blessed Kingdom - would be without your gracious presence upon the throne. My humble hope is that in the wake of your Majesty's progress through the Republic of Ireland next month, that your previous colony comes to its senses and realises that its interests would once again be best represented by returning to the pretecting fold of the UK and the glorious Commonwealth. (Goodness knows the present and previous lot of rulers haven't been doing too well anyway have they?)

I have to say that I am completely overwhelmed that you, with all your cares and responsibilites and with the wonderful celebration of the wedding of your beloved grand-son just a couple of days away, have found the time to address us here. You do us such honour and yet too many of the er, 'citizens' as they have the audacity to describe themselves, appear to have nothing better to do than plot the disruption of that wonderful day. Some go so far as to plot the abolition of the Monarchy itself!

So be on your guard against those treasonous betrayers of the Crown and may Gawd bless and protect you always Ma'am. And may God protect us also against revolution and all talk of revolution.

A loyal subject
(Deep curtesy)

P.S. I don't wish to take up any more of your precious time but I simply must compliment you on your clever use of this particular forum for getting in touch with us. When they realise that you have managed somehow to hack in to their site in order to deliver your regal address, they will be so dreadfully cross!! What a hoot!!

Neale says:

I'm with the Deputy Prime Minister and Republic on this one: "Off with 'er 'ed!"
(okay... at the very least: It's time for an elected president that DOES protect us 'subjects')

David says:

Would that HRH was not simply a mouthpiece for the opportunistic utterances of successive Governments but alas it is so, her regal reach withered like a palsied arm; shrunk to a prune of pomp and parading, the proud possessions of that plum job.

Radfax says:

The people of the country are not happy with the illegal activities of the self elected quango govenment. It is the duty of the Queen to make sure that all her subjects are treated with respect and dignity. It is time that the crown stood with the people opposed to this tyranicl rule. It is NOW TIME for chenge, restitution and the rule of law to uphold the rights of the people.

Battlefield Betsy says:
Radfax raises an interesting point though. The English Revolution removed the rule of Kings and established rule through Parliament. To underline the point, the Parliamentarians cut off the king's head. The restoration of the monarchy did not alter this robust fact - kings ruled in name only and THROUGH Parliament. So if in spite of our having the right to vote, Parliament rules in opposition to the interests of the majority, and in the interests only of one class in society, then we face a similar revolutionary challenge to that of 1640. And by the way, as we consider what we'll do with all the debt when we've completed that business, when Cromwell was asked by a businessman to pay one of the executed King's debts he replied: “I am neither heir nor executor to Charles Stuart.”

Sarah says:
I am nobody's subject. Radfax, you are missing the point.

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